


crimson

by nomorewideeyes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Magnus Bane, Inspired by 3B trailer, M/M, Magnus gets his first nosebleed, POV Magnus Bane, alec is in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 07:52:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17638784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomorewideeyes/pseuds/nomorewideeyes
Summary: It’s almost dusk when Magnus has the first nosebleed.





	crimson

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [crimson](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17659112) by [ryybonko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryybonko/pseuds/ryybonko)



It’s almost dusk when Magnus has the first nosebleed.

In hindsight, he should have expected something like this to happen. The lack of magic coursing through his body didn’t go unnoticed, that familiar weight that once grounded him suddenly replaced with a hollow ache that seemingly no amount of alcohol could cure.

But that wasn’t all. His head would spin in the mornings, vision fading to black as he clutched at silver chains dangling around his neck for balance, the pain dull enough to bare but still so _so_ uncomfortable. Nausea, weakness, emptiness. It was all so familiar after growing accustomed to living as a mundane, just another side effect of the sacrifice he decided to make.

But this was the first nose bleed.

Deep crimson, clinging unwarrantedly to Magnus’ skin. Dread rooted itself in his chest and claimed his heart as it’s own.

Magnus’s eyes in his reflection were the only visible tell he was panicked, wide with shock as his heart pounded so loud he was surprised it didn’t break his ribs.

He gently put down the makeup brush he was holding, clasping his hands on his lap so he could stop any shaking before it started. The strategy wasn’t very effective.

The blood slowly dripped down, making him feel ill as some fell to his lips.

Was this it? Was this the beginning of the end? Was this really how long he could make it without his magic, his core?

Did his father have something to do with this? That thought created a ringing in his head. 

..what would happen to Alec? 

Magnus gasped for air, sinking down in his seat. The only blessing in all of this, he suddenly realised, was that he was alone in the loft. Alec, his Alexander, the man that stared at him with such unbridled worry when he thought Magnus wasn’t looking, who would see this happening before him, see Magnus falling apart, and breakdown, was working at the institute today. 

Magnus wouldn’t have to be any more of a burden on him than usual, for now at least. With a shaky inhale, he grabbed a tissue and wiped gently under his nose until the scarlet stared gravely up at him, stark against the once-perfect white. It was terrifying.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there for. His thoughts were chaos, so uncontrollable he didn’t even try. They washed over him and dragged him into the dark, and he let them. He let himself be consumed by the panic because that’s all there was. It was all there was to be felt. 

The latch on the front door clicked softly, followed by boots stepping into the loft. Magnus startled. He wasn’t sure if minutes or hours had passed, the sky behind the curtains a twilight andromeda

“Magnus? You home?”

Quickly, Magnus disposed of the tissue that was still clutched in his hand, crescent-shaped markings left on his palms. He dabbed haphazardly at his eyes before checking his reflection in the mirror.

Alec didn’t need to know about this. Magnus has never felt so weak and useless as he has over the past few weeks, and Alec had to be witness to all of it. Magnus didn’t know why he stuck around when all he was was pain. This shouldn’t be his hardship to bare. 

He did know, however, that he couldn’t stand to see that brand of fear in his love’s eyes one more time.

Besides, Magnus didn’t want them to endure only sadness and suffering before their time was possibly up.

He took a deep breath and forced his hands to be still, sharply dragging his gaze away from the mirror. His smile was forced and tight-lipped.

“I’m in here, darling.”

He hoped Alec wouldn’t notice.

(But he did)

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been so long since i’ve written anything good gravy 
> 
> Anyways heya!! The trailer stabbed me then left me for dead :D!!! Let’s get this bread!!!!!!!!
> 
> I wrote this in 45 minutes and just spat my thoughts onto the page, i’m also sleep deprived so if this is incoherent and awful it’s the sleep’s fault
> 
> They looooove making my guy suffer don’t they :/ pretty rude if you ask me
> 
> Anyways love you!! Send requests over on my tumblr (same user) and your comments keep me writing (literally) so they’re so very much appreciated :-)


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